College: What Did You Learn?

As I look back on my College experience, I realize lessons learned as well as great mysterious left unsolved. Time will only tell whether it was all worth it, until then, here is my list of top 5 things I learned over the course of five years as a student at Utah Valley University, along with the top 5 I still can't quite figure out.


TOP 5 LESSONS
Lesson 5. Everyone has a unique way to spin information. In regards to classes of the social science variety, I could have taken the same class taught by 5 different professors and it would have been the educational equivalent of taking 5 different classes.

Lesson 4. Just because a professor says something, doesn't necessarily mean it's true.* But more often then not they are careful about what they say so if you believe them you will be right most of the time.

LESSON 3. In life, there is often more to accomplish than time allotted. If I had read everything I was assigned to read, assuming I didn't sleep, I would be reading until the year 2018. I learned how to get enough information to do well in my classes without allowing the work load to consume my soul.**

LESSON 2. Prolonging graduation by a year doesn't actually make post-graduation any easier.

LESSON 1. In my opinion, the best skill I learned in college was the ability to intelligently BS my way, undetectably, through a topic I know very little about.



TOP 5 MYSTERIES
MYSTERY 5. The real purpose of Student Government. They didn't do anything. The school gave them no real authority, so why even have the organization? I'm sure it was some sort of control the masses conspiracy. "Give them fake representation so they think they have a voice" you know, like how Washington D.C. has a representative who can't vote.

MYSTERY 4. The purpose of an academic advisor. I saw mine every semester and I don't think he ever told me anything I couldn't look up on the University website. Don't get me wrong, I really liked my advisor as a person, though when I really needed advising I couldn't seem to find anyone on campus who gave sound advice. Although, his office did really come in handy when we needed to perform a blessing on someone who was sick - I think this mystery is solved... thanks blog!

MYSTERY 3. What I want to do for a career. I thought I would figure it all out before graduation... nope!

MYSTERY 2. How could student athletes miss around 40% of class time and pass their classes? Is there a different standard for student athletes? "Well, you don't SOUND as intelligent as the other college grad's who are applying, there are a bunch of typos in your resume and your cover letter just says 'me want job' over and over. But I do see here that you played college ball, which is just as good as critical thinking skills... you're hired! Welcome to Enterprise Rent-a-Car!"

MYSTERY 1. The number 1 mystery I never could solve was the mystery of the hot chick. I would see attractive girls all over the hallways everyday, then I would go to class and it was mostly ugo's and sausages. What classes were all of these girls taking? My best theory is that the school hires dumb pretty girls to walk around the hallways as a recruitment and retention tool. Because these girls sure as heck weren't attending normal classes.


*I actually learned this in high-school. Thanks Mr. Whelan!
**I probably could have learned this skill without spending 5 years and $30K.